Why I'm Rooting for the Hawks

Actually it's why I'm rooting against the Flyers.  If it were any other team from the East, save the Flightless Birds (ptui!), I'd be rooting against Chicago.  There are complex psychological reasons for this and not many of them are based on fact... it's ALL emotion.  The fact is I never root for either of these teams in the regular season; the Hawks are the Wings' traditional Central Division rivals and the Wings only play the Flyers once or twice in any given season.  So you would think I'd root for Philly, right?  Wrong, Bucko.

It's sports-hate.   Justin Bourne put up a good column on this subject yesterday and he hit a nerve.  Let's throw out a few quotes:

A while back, Bill Simmons did a nice job of putting words to the idea of "sports hate," (ed: read that - it's good) and it's long since been a favorite topic of mine. Its part of the reason the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals are so much fun.

To differentiate, real hate would be where you want someone to die in a fiery plane crash -- sports hate would be where you want someone's remote control plane to catch fire and crash into an athlete's face.

We need sports hate to feel invested in the games we're watching, or we wouldn't care half as much. It's the reason readers leave vitriol-laced comments calling opposing team's "whining divers" instead of saying "it's too bad somebody had to lose". Hating your opponent makes winning that much sweeter.

And for fans without a team contending for this year's Cup, sports hate is major reason to tune in. How fun is it to wish misery on names like Chris Pronger, Dan Carcillo, Scott Hartnell, Adam Burish, Dave Bolland and Dustin Byfuglien? I've got zero personal investment in the Finals beyond my predictions about the Philadelphia Flyers and Chicago Blackhawks, so I get to sit back and wish for Pronger's plus/minus to read like Tiger Woods played a municipal course from the middle tees.

Now we're getting there.  Chris Pronger.  Known to Wings fans as "Chrissy," coz it's de rigeur to disparage the object of your derision's manhood.  Always.  Even if he is 6' 6", weighs 214 pounds, and could kick your ass while laying on his death bed 40 years from now.  I (sports) hate Pronger, and it goes back to the 2007 Western Conference final, when he was the prime mover in this lil incident:

Holmstrom took 13 stitches in that incident, Rob Neidermeyer took a penalty, and Pronger was suspended for one game after the fact.  It was a dirty hit... the type of hit Pronger specializes in and gets away with a lot of the time... and worse, it was an elbow to the head.  The head shot, one of the worst offenses in the game.  Players can lose months of time due to concussions from head shots.  They suck and players that deliver 'em suck, too.  Big time.

Back to Pronger, or more specifically, the 2007 WCF.  The Wings lost that series to Anaheim... and it was close... who went on to win the Cup that year.  Pronger played a big part in the Wings' defeat and a large part in the Ducks' Cup win.  I hate Pronger, therefore I hate the frickin' Flyers, and there you have it.

So... back to Bourne.  Near the end of his piece he writes this lil beauty:

My ideal scenario involves Philly being down 3-0 in the series, and being tied in the dying minutes of Game 4. Pronger is the last guy back with the puck. He goes to make a breakout pass, his stick snaps, and he falls on the bottom half and gets winded. Meanwhile, Jonathan Toews picks it up and scores on that Pavel Datsyuk shootout floater move. Then the camera zooms in Pronger crying, so Eager shoots at towel at him to use.

For fans everywhere, sports hate is good. It doesn't need to be malicious; it's supposed to be fun. Pronger may be a great guy, but for those of us who get irritated by his antics, we get to pretend we know that he isn't.

So until I hear otherwise, I'm gonna sit back and hope he gets a flaming mini-plane in the face.

Heh.  Me too, Justin.  Me too.